The Adventures of ... SingleNFabulous: To Be or Not to Be Single! My Dilemma

Hey Beautiful People,

So I’ve done nothing special in my social life short of hanging out with my family, going to the Nicki Minaj concert at the BET Experience, Girls Night Out at Dave & Buster’s and going to see Magic Mike XXL. I highly recommend Magic Mike it’s a great Movie, LOL.

Oh and I cut my hair!

I registered on Match.com but I haven’t broken down to pay the monthly fee that allows me to converse with those who’ve liked my pics, sent a message or have shown any type of interest. Online dating feels forced to me and I don’t feel I should have to pay for it (smh, that’s me being stubborn). But at some point I might succumb to the pressure!

Am I lazy? Possibly.

Am I old fashion and just wish I could meet someone
“in person” organically? Definitely.

Do I feel there are other things in life more important than dating? Yes, lol.

But ultimately would I like a companion who gets me, loves to hang out with me (& my doggie), travel with me, be adventurous or just relax in front of the TV? Most definitely!

Do I live in my own little “fantasy world” where the relationship I’d like to have is much easier than what they really are? High Probability!

My ultimate goal is “marriage”, but lately when talking to other people about marriage I get mixed reviews. You know how people say you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, until you are deep in it. Well it sounds like you can’t predict what you are signing up for. We as children growing up observe our parent’s, loved ones or close family friends and their relationships and their experiences vary. From what appears to be loving and caring to down right I just don’t like you anymore! Hey life changes and people change.

But what they don’t tell you is everything you are getting when you make this type of commitment. It is only now as an adult that I am able to observe friends and families marriages (on the outside looking in) and understand what type of commitment, understanding and difficulties they have to endure as a couple. Then when children are involved it makes things even more complicated.

We, as women, are raised to believe we should marry, have children, and take care of the home, etc. Is this old fashion YES but apparently it worked for generations before us. In today’s society some women have the desire to have a nuclear family and some don’t (to each her own)! Me personally I’d like to have children but that ship may have already sailed. It’s hard enough just to find a compatible partner let alone having kids in this day and age...We must think twice about bringing a child into this world. Our reasoning can not be "selfish", we must think of what our child is going to be subjected to and if we are ready to deal with the challenges that come with it.

There have been several times in my life where I’ve questioned why ‘God’ (for those of you who believe in him or her, lol) hasn’t introduced me to “The One”. I believe it’s natural to wonder why and I know I should be patient but I’m 40 and I’m not getting any younger. I’m assuming that it’s not my time right now! But then I had a thought….What if I’m just meant to be SINGLE??!!

So I took a minute to reflect on the “benefits” of being Single. I live alone (well technically with my sister), I come and go as I please, I travel when I want, I don’t have to check-in with anyone, I have the freedom to converse when any guy I want with no obligations, I spend my money on what I want and my life is drama free. So I guess I can’t complain. But even after listing all these things, the one thing I do miss is “companionship”. I love my dog to death but she just can’t fulfill that part of my life.