My search for love has been on hold as usual. I don't necessarily make it a priority because I haven't had the best of luck in Los Angeles, or ANYWHERE else for that matter. I have a track record of making that initial "connection" with a guy but in the end I always end up "the home girl" but not "the Wife". Is it frustrating...YES! Do I necessarily have control over it...NO!
Or do I?
Why all this contemplation you ask, because I finally got the opportunity to visit the "guy friend" I told you about that I met at the Essence Festival a few years ago. He's the cool white guy in the Air Force who was traveling to different countries (Germany) and well he finally landed in the states. Since neither one of us are going to the Essence Festival this year we agreed I'd come and visit him as soon as my schedule permitted.
Read Backstory Here
So I knew I was traveling to Chicago In May (work trip that ended on a Friday) so I asked him if he'd be okay with me coming to visit the weekend (since he was only a couple of hours away).
He agreed. I was excited about seeing him again and happy that he took the initiative to make plans for us to go to the Dine-In theater to see Avengers: Age of Ultron. Then 2 days before I'm suppose to go see him I get this email:
Subject: Heads up
We are going out Saturday night with a couple of chicks I personal train so I told them you are my cousin coming in from California (wink) just role with that so they don't get jealous and my business doesn't get fucked up, lol.
OMG! Really SMDH
There was more conversation but it wasn't worth me writing. From what I was reading he really thought this plan was OKAY. What was he thinking?????
Is anyone else OFFENDED or is it just me being extra Sensitive???
Initially, my first thought was NOT to go! But I paid for my plane ticket and I didn't want it to go to waste. Lets be clear...I bought my own plane ticket because I didn't want to be obligated to anyone and I wanted the freedom to make my own decisions versus someone having something to hold over my head.
Sidebar - Of course my girl Nikki tells me later that because my flight was on Southwest I could have postponed the flight, rescheduled it for a later date, and changed my destination with "no fees" involved (sad face).
But honestly part of me wanted to "check this fool" and the other part of me wanted to find out what the hell was he thinking??
So I went!
No doubt I went into that weekend "disappointed" because at this point I knew where I stood with him. Don't get me wrong I had no major expectations but I didn't expect to be thrown that curve ball either.
I got there Saturday morning and he picked me up from the airport and took me to breakfast. Of course we talked about that RIDICULOUS plan he put together and I told him "females ask questions...lots of them" and I told him I'm not answering any of them. It would all be on him to explain "how I'm suppose to be his cousin". I'm black, he's white, Really??? He didn't hesitate to cancel the plans. I also explained to him that I didn't have any expectations to do anything "special" that weekend because I'd been in Chicago all week for work and I was really looking forward to just relaxing. So we hung out at his big beautiful house, ate fast food all weekend (because he doesn't cook, lol) and watched movies together.
Sidebar - I would have asked him to take me to the grocery store so we could get food for me to cook but I wasn't motivated to do it because that email played over and over again in the back of mind.
Call me "old school" but I'm not putting any extra effort into something that doesn't sit right with me and in the end I'm going to be the one who gets hurt. I'm a realist. My thought process was if you invite me to hangout with you for the weekend, it's all about me and in return you will get 100% of Resheda I'm pulling out all the stops, even if it's just for the weekend but it's MY WEEKEND.
I knew that once my weekend with him was over it was back to REALITY and the other disappointing men I'm already familiar with.
I struggled to write this Blog entry because I was trying to figure out why this situation played itself out the way it did...but honestly I don't know why and I've come to accept the fact that it is what it is!
My Weekend in Review:
*Does he have a girlfriend...Not that I know of
*Can he possibly be sleeping with the women he's supposed to be "working out with"...Absolutely
*Did I expect anything less...Of course not!
*Did I want to hang out with "females" that are complete strangers to me HELL NO! (see asterisk #2)
*Did he Fuck Up my "fantasy" of who I thought he was...Yes he did.
*Do I regret going No
*Did I learn something from it...Definitely!
*Am I bitter against ALL Men...No!
Overall, did I have a good time YES. It was a relaxing vacation away from home and he was good company. Will I see him again probably Not.
Will I continue to be SingleNFabulous OH YEAAAAAH!!!!!
Now that I have a little bit more time to "play" in the summer my next attempt is to try Online Dating, pray for me...LOL!!!
The Adventures of SingleNFabulous Must Go On!!!