Wednesday, August 21, 2013

10 Things That Keep A Woman Single according to a MAN!

Hey Beautiful People,
My first Official Dodger Game...LA all Day!
I recently read an article about why women are single that came from the perspective of a Man and I found it very interesting. I did not get offended and the various topics he discussed seemed realistic. I think this is a good Self-Reflection tool for us single ladies to use. After reading the article I could honestly say I do not believe I fall into any of these categories...except for one Number #3! It wouldn't hurt for me to do better in this area (smiley face)...I'm working on it!
Let's review -

The Things That Keep A Woman Single
By Evan Moore of
Heres our list of things single women should stop doing RIGHT NOW to change their fortunes:
1. Your friends and family are poisoning your love life.
Nothing makes a single man cringe like a woman who insists that her bff, mom, big sister take on an active role in their dating lives. Look, we want to date you. Not your FB friends list. No man wants to think about dating a woman long term who cant take a dump without soliciting advice from the nearest member of the clique. When you invite people who dont have to live with the consequences of their judgment into your love life, you only are inviting frustration. Be a big girl. Make decisions on people based on your best judgment.
2. Get out of your mommas house.

Look we get it. Its a rough economy and plenty of guys are still under moms roof too. But really, how is that going to work long-term? No man wants to be picking you up from your moms house like its prom night. If you are not financially secure enough to have your own place, you are NOT ready to date, and youre DAMN SURE not ready to be in a relationship.

3.  Get in shape

We know, we know.we are shallow, misogynistic heathens. But guess what, we are men. We are visual creatures. We know what we like. For most of us sans a small segment of chubby chasers, some of us dont like the biggens. It is what it is. You cant realistically be pushing two spins and then wonder why the cute guy on your bus stop with the ripped up arms and flat stomach just doesnt seem to be into you.

4. Tone down the God stuff, really
Hey, we know some of you ladies love Jesus, but he will be the only man in your life if we think we have to compete with him for your attention. This is a touchy subject and we know faith plays a big part of many of your lives. However, if you go to church more than you go on dates then you are narrowing your pool of available men.

5. Shut up and get off the phone

Women are social creatures. We understand your need to go on and on for hours about.nothing. However, like the rest of this list, we are telling you what a man is thinking when we see this kind of behavior. In this case, we are thinking, "Dear god, does she ever stop? The BFF will live if you dont call her and complain about the b---h in the next cubicle over.

6. Get out of the!

Look, you are not on campus anymore. Being in a club four or five nights per week is not a good look. No man wants a woman that he has to have the DUI lawyer on speed dial. There are many ways to meet men without dressing up like an extra from a Beyoncé video and partying like its 1999.

7. Your Facebook page is your worst enemy.

In the social media age, nothing will tell the tale about you as a woman more than your Facebook page. Here are three things that are an immediate deal breaker with the fellas. First, if you have 300 pictures on your profile, and 299 of them are of you, you are basically telling Mr. Right that YOU are the most important thing in your world; I mean damn, you dont have a dog or something? Second, put some clothes on. Thats exactly what we as men want, a mate where all my bros have seen your asscrack. Third, control your emotions. Nothing says potential stalker/drama queen like a woman who lashes out constantly in frustration over the men she dates.

8. Carry yourself like someone who actually likes men.

Attitude is everything. The last thing a man wants to add to his life is a woman who is mean, combative or bitter. If you have unresolved issues, get counseling. A man is not a punching bag or a psychologist. You say Hes not strong enough for me! No lady, Everclear is not strong enough for you. So many ladies out there have taken the bad b---h attitude. Some guys may gravitate to that for a one night fling. Most avoid it for legal reasons.Im just saying.

9. Know your role

One of the primary reasons the fellas will put your ass on waivers is because the woman cannot or will not play her position. I dont mean be submissive or look the other way if hes being shady. I mean be a friend if he wants a friend, be a great lover if thats what it is, be a girlfriend if both of you decide thats the right thing to do. Nothing will get you put into the f--k buddy file faster than demanding or taking privileges designed for someone you are not. If you are not his girlfriend, why are you checking his phone or asking where he was last night? You cant force a man into anything he doesnt want to do. Earn his trust and admiration before you earn his ire.
10. Temper your expectations.

Lets be very honest. Lots of men out here ain't s--t. We know that. However, just like your flawed ass, men have imperfections that can change over time; maybe they wont. But for you to demand that Mr. Right should be running a Fortune 500 company, benching 300 pounds, while making your mother giggle from jokes is just downright silly. Be realistic about what you want. Everybody has likes and dislikes, its human nature. But when you create unrealistic and in some cases, bizarre barriers to meeting men, you are only narrowing the pool of candidates. That guy that works for the streets and sanitation crew with a two-year-old son may not be the best option, but he IS an option. The guy living in the shady hood with the beater car that works at Target and goes to school at night may not be taking you to San Tropez anytime soon, but Ill guarantee hell take you somewhere nice every year if you stick with him and build something together.

Honorable Mention:

Comparing your girlfriends husband or boyfriend to your mate. Men hate that.

Just because a man compliments you or tells you good morning does not mean that he is hitting on you. Hes just being polite.

Its okay to read Steve Harveys book. But tread lightly.

Now that you've read the article...Leave a Comment and let me know what you think about the Male Perspective!
In the meantime...
The Adventures of SingleN Fabulous Must Go On...Smooches!

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Single By Choice

Hey Beautiful People,

Long Beach Jazz Festival
As I peruse through the news feed of social media called Facebook, lol, I have come across a few articles my friends have posted that involves a lot of commentary regarding the future of childless single women. Society has all of a sudden taken an interest in the fact that there are an abundance of women in society that are single with no children- By Choice! It's like a new cultural phenomenon. Really?

So you know... I have an opinion on this subject!
Please note that there are always Exceptions to the Rule! There will always be those females that are looking for a man to take care of men watch your back!

I concluded a long time ago that I am
Single by CHOICE!
I'm damn near 40....If I don't know what I want in a man by now something is definitely wrong with ME!!

I know what I like and I know what I want and I refuse to SETTLE! As discouraging as dating has been it does help that in the past I've met men who fit my #1 Man my expectations are not Too High and what I'm asking for is not Too Much! I can give you a list of what I like but it's going to be real generic (good personality, a sense of humor, passionate about life, career-oriented, and loves children, etc..) but what woman doesn't want that in a man. I can be more specific but then we will be here all night. Simply put...I know him when I meet's just a feeling you get when you are comfortable with someone. If I don't get that Vibe when I meet you then you don't have a shot in Hell...Lmao...Sorry!

Historically the men that I've shown interest in do not necessarily have the same interest in me...and that's okay! It is not the end of the least not for me! So what do I do? I continue to go out and have Fun and I just hope and pray I run into someone who is as passionate about me as I am about them.

That being said...I have no intention of having children without a spouse! Of course I'm sad and disappointed that there is a possibility that I may not have children but I look at life realistically. I don't want to raise a child alone (it's hard as hell), single parenthood is not all it's cracked up to be (I've seen others struggle) and kids now days are no joke (the come out the vagina grown)! In addition, look at the society in which we have to raise them??!! I'm a proud Auntie of a niece that I'm overly protective about and a dog I treat as if she were my child. I know it's not the same but it works for me...don't judge me...Girl Code! (smile)

In the meantime, You know me I try to get out as much as possible. But sometimes there are those days when you just want to relax at home with your dog, Lol. But it's Summer time so I can't stay home too long. I've attended several Jazz Festivals and grown and sexy birthday parties. I'm going to try to travel outside my comfort zone more often in an effort to mix and mingle.

My life is good...I can't complain. And if the path I'm on right now is to be Single...then so be it...I'm going to be damn good at being Single! I have to have faith that when the time is right it will happen for me!

Congratulations to all the newlyweds, newly engaged and those happy in a long term relationship...this is my ultimate goal.

However, I will leave you with this famous modified quote, "I got 99 problems but a F@#k'd up relationship ain't one" Lol...I'd rather wait!

Stay Tuned...The Adventures of SingleNFabulous are in full effect!

Sunday, August 4, 2013

20 Years in the Making...

Hi Beautiful People,

Now that I'm back on track to having "A Life"...
I will be publishing more of my weekly shenanigans!

With that being said...this past weekend was my 20 Year High School Reunion - Morningside High School Class of 1993. Yeah I know...I'm getting OLD. As long as I don't look it I'm a happy camper (wink)!

It all started about 1 year ago!! The invention of Facebook helped me to reunite with some of my former MHS classmates so we could come together to plan this reunion!
Flashback - What had happened was...I tried to plan the 10 year Reunion on my own because no one wanted to help. There was a reunion company (who will remain nameless, smh) that was involved and trying to help but they were bootleg! Needless to say it didn't work out. So naturally, because we did not have a 10 Year Reunion it was only fitting that we plan a 3 Day Weekend for our 20 Year Reunion.

Fast forward to Summer 2012 and because of social media at least 8 people volunteered to be apart of the Reunion Committee. We met on a monthly basis and with the support of our alumni we were able to raise $500 to book our Ballroom at the Courtyard Marriott in Pasadena. Of course there were issues during this year long journey - people dropped out of the committee, some people were not doing their share of the work and we were always dealing with various excuses, etc.. It was very frustrating for those people who were consistent every time! We had to pray to get through the last few months because a couple of people were on the verge of getting cursed out!!!!!!
Finally the 3 Day Weekend had arrived. My twin sis and I booked a room at the hotel because we did not want to drive back and forth from LA to Pasadena all weekend. 

Unfortunately, my Twin sis had to work late so she did not make it to the Friday night Festivities!! But you know I did...and of course I took lots of pictures!! I don't mind playing paparazzi because I like documenting my memories!!

Friday Night - Mix & Mingle Time

Oh shit! Bar Celona was our Spot!!! It wasn't the original location we choose but it worked itself out. Food and drank that's all we needed. We were going to go over to Club Menage two doors down but they were trippin on us and trying to enforce a cover charge after a certain time. Good thing Bar Celona's DJ was cool and kept the party going!!! We already had a big enough section for our group and it was FREE! All it took was for Phoenix Breaux to walk in the door with a very "generous friend" and shots, shots, shots, shots!!! Surprisingly they were Delicious! We had over 10 to 15 Alumni come out and party with us and it was a GREAT way to start the weekend.
Saturday Day - First stop, Michaels to get some items for the Reunion. Second stop,
Lunch with Keesha at The Yardhouse at Paseo Colorado Mall. I was still looking for a purse to match my shoes and a cute bracelet...but no such luck!!! (sad face). Third stop Target - I found a cute purse but it really was not what I was looking for...but it will do for now!

Saturday Night - I go to the Mission Room early to meet our Great Reunions Hostess Sheri who was really cool. DJ Biggy Beats was on the 1s and 2s setting up his area. The producers and camera crew for the filming of Hardwood Dreams 3 Documentary were present and getting ready to film.

Sidebar - My MHS alumni partner in crime Tenisha G. had been communicating with the HD3 producers as they had reached out to her saying they wanted to film the MHS 1993 Basketball Players at the Reunion. A little history...the 1993 MHS men won CIF and State Championships in Basketball in 1992. They were the talk of Inglewood and back then they filmed the first Documentary of Hardwood Dreams highlighting our boys and their goals for the future - college scholarships and/or draft to the NBA. 10 Years Later Hardwood Dreams 2 was filmed but we didn't have our 10 year reunion so we had no idea it happened. 20 years later is the filming of the last installment.
Unfortunately, only 3 of the 5 showed up at the Reunion - Sean Harris, Corey Saffold and Dwight Curry. When I say the Life of the Party was Dwight and he really got the party started!! He hasn't changed a bit! We got Turnt Up after that!!! We ate, drank, twerked and had a great time! Lol
 Shout out to THE BEST MHS c/o 93 REUNION COMMITTEE EVER! - Those who worked their asses off - Tenisha Gates, Lashawn Fuller and LaTanya Phillips. Lisa Glymph and her husband couldn't make it to the Reunion due to a prior engagement but Lisa definitely contributed to the planning process. If you fell off at the end and failed to communicate with the clique you gets NO Shout Out !!!  I'm sorry, but if you can't tell... a part of me is bitter because as adults you would think people would be more considerate of others...but it looks like that's "too much like right". Moving on...

For once people showed up right on time - 7pm. Unfortunately, I was walking around with no shoes on because I kept getting distracted with various things that needed to get done. I was finally able to sit down and put on my Monika Chiang heels. It took me at least 15 minutes and I broke a sweat in the process!! But once I put them on you couldn't tell me nothing. I love those shoes...and I wasn't taking them off until they kicked us out the matter how bad my feet hurt, Lol. I forgot to put my Aldo cushions in but that didn't stop me! 
What made my weekend was Monica Chiang herself giving me a SHOUT OUT on Instagram!!

During the discombobulated program that I was allegedly hosting, my trusty sidekick LaTanya (helped saved my ass by tallying up the votes) - for the (Fun?) Reunion Certificates we gave out that night: Just to name a few...My twin Keesha was voted The Best Dressed Alumni - Female, Corey Saffold was voted The Best Dressed Alumni - Male, Lashawn was voted the Alumni That Hasn't Changed A Bit, Phoenix Breaux was voted the Alumni That Changed the Most, Tenisha was voted Alumni with the Best Body 20 Years Later, Edward Turner was voted the Alumni that Traveled the Furthest (hailing from the state of Washington), Kysha Hadley was voted the Alumni that has been Married the Longest and Dwight Curry was voted the Alumni that was Most Unlikely to Come to the Reunion!  We gave out more certificates so Shout out to all the MHS Alumni Winners! 

By the end of the night -
The Filming was Over...

            The Program was done

                        We were Good & Tipsey

                                    Our Feet were Hurting...from dancing

                                                Massive amounts of pictures were taken

                                                            & MHS Alumni c/o 93 were Happy...

I think this Reunion Night turned out to be very Successful !! I'm so glad it's over, Lol.
No more stress...but in the end it was worth it !

Sunday at Memorial Park - Oh you thought I was done??? MHS Alumni packed the blankets, lawn chairs, dominoes, UNO, playing cards, alcohol and snacks for a Day at the Park. The jazz didn't start until 7pm but that didn't stop us from enjoying the beautiful day and relaxing in the sun with our MHS 19Naughty3 T-shirts (thanks Tenisha). Unfortunately Keesha and I had to leave early because we were going to the Jay Z and Justin Timberlake Concert at the Pasadena Rose Bowl.

This was the perfect way to end a Perfect weekend - Legends of the Summer Concert -
JT and HOVA put on a Great Show!! I Loved it!!
Me and Kee taking selfies before our Uber ride to the Bowl.
& Me throwin up the deuces with my Target leather sleeve T-shirt that I love (that Kee got me)! "the higher the heel the closer to heaven".

The worst part about this 3 day weekend is that we were away from our Princess - Bailey who had to go to The Pooch Hotel for the weekend (sad face). We missed her tremendously!! But next time we are booking a dog friendly hotel so she can come with us (smiley face)!!!

We Love this Little Dog - Princess Bailey!
I can honestly say my Twin Sis and I had a GREAT Reunion Weekend!
Sorry but there were no love connections this weekend so as you know...
The Adventures of Single and Fabulous must go on!
Stay Tuned...Smooches!