Thursday, January 28, 2016

The Verdict Is in...

Hey Beautiful People,

So I finally went out with the guy that I met online. Honestly, I was dreading it. Part of me had already made my mind up that this guy was not my type.

Recap - When we were sending messages to each other through the online dating website he sounded cool. His profile picture was decent. I gave him my phone number and he called. The initial conversation was a little awkward but it ended okay. Every day thereafter he would text me. That shit got annoying. I wanted to respond and say “I’m working, leave me the hell alone!!” but I knew that would be rude. So I just stopped responding (I know…that’s rude too. But in my mind it’s less abrasive). I knew he’d get the picture. Although we missed meeting each other the first time around, I promptly rescheduled the meeting for Friday evening. I really just wanted to get it over with.

So here I am trying to figure out how to go out on a Friday night in my Uggs without giving the impression that I don’t care. Well I put a little more effort into it and threw on my Fergie ankle boots and I pulled off a quick casual look. Our original plan was to go to Mixology by the Grove but I thought the location was too far for me to get to on a Friday night in traffic after work. I needed a neutral place midway between the Grove and South Bay. So after consulting my “dating advisor” Brian (aka my co-worker)…

Sidebar – Who by the way told me not to go out with this guy because I already knew I didn’t like him and I was wasting my time. But I thought I owed it to him to at least give him a shot since I went as far as to give him my number.

…So Brian suggested I pick a spot at L.A. Live. I agreed that was a good idea. I decided that Rock N Fish would be a cool spot since I’ve been there before and it was nice and quiet. What I didn’t know is that the Lakers were playing at the Staples Center that night! Really?? We both were running late due to traffic. I got there first and reserved a table and he came in soon after. This place was packed. Apparently everyone was there to eat dinner before going to the game. Half way through our “date” everyone dispersed and the place became much quieter.


We were seated and my “assessment” began, Lol. He was cool but I wasn’t impressed with his gear (clothing or shoes). It’s a “first date”, first impressions are very important. But he did smell good so he gets points for that. The conversation was much better in person and it flowed. But I could do without him talking with his mouthful and small pieces of food flying across the table. There were also times throughout the conversation when he complimented me that I felt like he was trying too hard and was a little too eager to impress me. I guess I can contribute this nervousness (so he gets a pass). Overall, the best way I could describe this date is that “it was cool”. I felt comfortable during the date but nothing stood out for me. Man with a career, makes good money in his industry, lives alone and has one child/teen.

There was only one problem…I was not attracted to him! I knew this in advance but I was hoping that if I at least went out with him my feelings might change? Uh…No. I think I just made myself feel better because I at least gave him the opportunity to meet me in person instead of just judging him based off of very little information. Unfortunately because I’m not attracted to him I’m not going to waste his time or mines.

I know what I like... I’ve met guys in the past who have met my criteria and that’s how I know my standards aren’t too high (I just wasn’t “the One” for them). So lets be clear. I don’t just want a “nice guy” I want a guy who does it for me…I need up, down and around, even sideways (wink)!

You know…when he keeps you on the phone past your bedtime; when he texts you and you smile (and its not annoying); when he randomly pops into your thoughts throughout the day; or when you look forward to seeing him “any place, any time!” I normally don’t do this but uh…..Lol.

So I had to let him down gently!! He was workin’ my nerves and I needed to be honest with him. I’m sure he was disappointed (I could hear it in his voice) but I’d rather rip the band-aid off quickly then do like some women do and use him for what he can do for me! Not my style….

Looks like SingleNFab is still on a mission and I just have to keep going out so I can run into a man I really like…by complete accident (or so he thinks).

I’m going to focus my energy on my next Adventure

And that’s finding the Best Super Bowl Party In town????

 Let Me know if you have any Idea’s…..

Stay tuned...The Adventures of SingleNFabulous Must Go On!


Friday, January 22, 2016

Trust Your Gut

Hi Beautiful People,

I am happy to report that 2016 has gotten off to a good start for me:
*I made my Vision Board
*I made My Goals Plan
*I bought 2 books to increase my knowledge and help keep me motivated and accountable.
*...and I'm doing a 30 Day Detox plan by JJ Smith that is educating me on how to eat healthier, the benefits of Green Smoothies and breaks down what supplements to take that is good for the body.

Anywho...Lets get to the good stuff...

This past 3 day weekend was in celebration of  Martin Luther King, Jr. and it just so happened that I made plans to go out Friday and Sunday, so I could get out to Mix & Mingle.

2 Guys & A Girl...Out on Friday night.
The original plan was to meet some friends at an HBCU Social Event at H.O.M.E. Restaurant but my guy friends gave me a heads up that the crowd was "too young" and it was too crowded. I should have known... So the guys made the executive decision to find another local hangout spot nearby. I was in it to win it, hair done, make up done and cute!

My first thought when writing this blog was, in hindsight, I should have snap chatted (singlenfabla)some of my Friday night adventures but #1- I forgot (because I was having such a good time!) and #2- our destination ended up being a more intimate setting than originally planned Nic's Beverly Hills. Also, I wanted to be respectful of the men who were accompanying me for the night. I believe there is a time and a place for everything and this setting just wasn't the appropriate place for it. Also, I don't want to get to the point where I'm so consumed in putting everything on social media that I don't enjoy myself or the people I'm with.

While hanging out with 2 "great guys" (one married, one single) they gave me great advice and suggestions on what I should do differently when in pursuit of "the One"! I learned that my social circle needs to expand, I need to get out more and be more strategic on when I make plans to go somewhere. Reflect on what my purpose is...and what drives me?! Take the time to volunteer and give back to a cause that I have a passion for. As these things fall into place eventually I will meet someone! And when I do meet someone I must define my relationship with them. Are we just friends, dating or exclusive?? No grey areas I'm too old for that shit (been there done that)! Great conversation with Great people will always be PRICELESS!

I had a good time hanging out with the guys, as they were very respectful and chivalrous in my
presence. The closest I got to meeting someone that night was a "sugar daddy" named R.E. Martin (cool white guy) from New York who kept me laughing and "clutching my pearls" with his crass humor. If you don't know what "crass" means look it up, LOL.
Saturday was cool and I focused on running my errands and having a relaxing day.

Sunday Day Party @ Tiffany's On Vine
I saw a last minute post of a friend of mine having her Birthday Celebration at this venue on Sunday. So I called my girl Rhonda because we had just talked about hanging out together so we could catch up on whose personal life sucks the worst, lol (I think I won). So we met up at the day party, gave Jamara some Birthday love and we hung out at the bar. This venue seemed like a pretty cool spot but what we didn't know is that the real fun didn't start until the sun set (we arrived at about 3pm) but we know better for next time! Unfortunately we didn't see a whole lot of "eye candy" and we didn't get a chance to strike up a conversation with any interesting guys. So we left around 6pm, but not before somebodies "uncle" sent Rhonda a drink at the bar! (insert emoji with the eyes wide open, lol) It was a nice gesture but he was out of place and wasn't exactly in our age category. Rhonda was polite and acknowledged him and then we disappeared quick fast and in a hurry. Honestly we were just happy to get out the house and hang out for a couple of hours. The DJ was real cool though and I think we will plan to go back to check it out again in a few weeks! But right now our mission is to find some other popular places we can go to see what shenanigans we can get ourselves into!
Now technically I was off on Monday because of the Holiday and I sort of made plans to meet this guy I met online later that evening.

Rewind - About 2 weeks ago I signed up for online dating on the OKcupid website on a whim because one of my co-workers told me that they match you based on the questions you answer. So that actually sounded appealing to me because I wanted to weed through the ones that weren't compatible. What I didn't know is that those fools who don't even match the criteria I specified were still going to attempt to make contact with me even though they weren't in the 80% percentile. Well I met one guy that appeared to have a good job, his own place, Lakers and 49ers fan (he gets a pass on the football team), and one child (teenager). I looked at his pictures and he was "aight". He messaged me online and we had a decent conversation. So I told myself give him a chance and give him the number and see if he's as cool on the phone as he is when typing a message. Uhhhh Not So Much! The conversation was like playing 20 Questions and it felt forced. Unfortunately I could tell over the phone he had no "SWAG"! So now I'm annoyed.

I knew I should have "trusted my gut" and stuck to what I know and like and that's meeting people in person! The purpose is to figure out if there is any instant chemistry, does the conversation just flow, are we compatible. I get none of these vibes from this man over the phone. But once again, I'm trying not to be mean but give him a chance so...

Fast Forward - I made plans to meet up with him on Monday evening because I thought my day was going to be uneventful. But that was wishful thinking and so I had to cancel, however I did reschedule for Friday evening. But at this point I'm just dreading it. Now I have to deal with daily text messages I have no interest in answering and getting pictures that I didn't ask for.

Wish Me Luck (or Pray 4 Me)...
I will definitely have to update my peeps on what happens Friday night...don't worry I'll let him down easy, lol (or maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised, who knows).

More SingleNFabulous Shenanigans to come in 2016...Stay Tuned...