Thursday, September 3, 2015

Dating...A Lost Art Form

Hey Beautiful People,

I know it's not just me and I know dating still happens but some of the $hit I have to go through is just ridiculous....hence the purpose of my Blog. To give you the inside details on what I go through as a single woman residing in L.A.

In the last 2 weeks I've had to tell 2 guys "I accept invitations to go on dates". But my question is...why do I have to tell you this! Why don't you just ask me out?

Typically my "guy friends" fall in two categories: we are either dating or really good friends (with no benefits) that I've known for a while. So if you are texting me randomly saying "hello" I will say "hello" back. I don't have long conversations via text so my response is going to be short and to the point. But then my next question is "are you texting me for a purpose or did I just cross your mind?"

Now let me be clear...I don't have a bunch of rules I go by but I do have some old school expectations. I'm open to almost anything but I need the person I'm "dating" to be on the same page. I know guys think differently than women and so I try not to make things too complicated. Tell me what you want and we can make it happen. However, what I don't like is if you think youre coming over to my house to hang out??? That position is EARNED and is a privilege. I need to know you very well in order for me to let you into my personal space!

So singlenfab followers let me give you two different scenarios and you tell me what you think!

First an "old boo" starts sending me random text messages. Now I could have been rude and responded like "what do you want" but I didn't, so I entertained the back and forth correspondence. Honestly peeps there really was no substance to this mini conversation so I had no desire to keep the communication going. Then it just ended. What was the point?

I recently gave him the opportunity to come see me at a location that was closest to him and he asked me all the details, when and where, and then doesn't show up. What was the point of you asking?

Another time he hinted that he wanted to see me and so I told him "I go out on dates when asked". But low key I knew he was just trying to get me to hang out at his house. I don't want to hang out at your house (unless you offer to cook dinner)...we not cool like that anymore! I need to get to know the person you are now. Going on a couple of dates isn't going to kill you and they don't always have to involve spending money. I have yet to get a response out of him. Don't bother me unless there is a method to your madness. You need to have an objective or goal when it involves ME. I'm not one to waste my time because my time is valuable. Hey, lets face it I'm not getting any younger!

Then last night I'm having a conversation with my neighbor and he tells me "I'm full of shit" because I haven't given him the time of day (we have that kind of relationship). Of course my response is "Ask me out and you might get somewhere. Hanging out in your driveway talking shit doesnt count. Hes cool and all but I really don't know him or what he wants out of life. The brief encounters we've had has led me to believe that he's a nice guy so I'd say yes to going out with him...but he'd actually have to ask me in order for that to happen! Hello?!

Sidebar - Now he may have gotten the wrong impression in the past that I wasn't that into him: In a text message he said, "you must not be feeling me" All I said was "you cool". His response, "Wow cool I'll take that I guess, lol." 
But once again I really don't know him well we just joke around and he flirts with me when I see him outside.

I don't know what's with men today...

Are you worried you are wasting your money on a date?
Do you not want to work for it?
Do you even know what the hell "courting" or "dating" is?

This is so frustrating. It is much easier for me to either relax at home in my nice comfy bed or just go out with the girls because its so much easier and NOT complicated.

As you can see Beautiful People nothings changed. Im either dropping hints or telling them straight up what they need to do. I need a strong man that is confident in himself and comfortable in approaching a sista, having a conversation and asking her out. Is that too much to ask?? Or am I living too far in the past?? Or just meeting the wrong Men?!

So of course...

The Adventures of SingleNFabulous must go onSmooches!

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