A Year in Review...My 2015

Hi Beautiful People,

My sad pathetic ass is currently sitting in front of my television watching Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation because I don't have shit to do this New Year's Eve! I've also been dealing with migraines for the past 2 days so even if I did have plans I wouldn't be able to enjoy them anyway...Yeah this sucks! But I didn't want to go into the New Year without writing to you guys one more time, so I decided to write this Blog entry to close out the end of 2015.

Do I want to throw myself a pity party YES. Why you ask? Because 2015 did not go the way I planned it and I'm pissed.


But truthfully I'm really just disappointed in myself because I didn't have a plan and therefore I had nothing tangible to help hold myself accountable. It's very hard to make adjustments to how you normally do things when you're use to doing them a certain way. Meaning...I'm a creature of habit and therefore not a fan of change especially when I don't have what I believe to be  "expert knowledge" on how to successfully make a change. But this doesn't mean I shouldn't keep trying. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So I will be making some changes next year!!



Maybe it's just me but I think 2015 flew by this year. Some good things happened and some not so good things happened but that's life!


Did I meet my weight loss Goals this year... No
Did I meet my future spouse this year... No
Did I meet my Blog goals this year... No

But Am I going to Quit... NO
I just have to make some adjustments and figure out what works best for Me!

So I'm going to leave you with a few Inspirational Quotes to start the New Year off Right!



Thanks to All my SinglenFab Followers for riding with me in 2015! It's occurred to me that some of us don't either have the time or don't make the time to sit down and read but you guys continue to support me through my journey of Shenanigans.

Here's to a FUN & FABULOUS 2016!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

The Adventures of SingleNFabulous will only Get Better Next Year...

Smooches

10 Assumptions Men make About Single Women in L. A. - Finding Bae!

Hi Beautiful People,

There was a contest (that I entered and didn't win) that motivated me to write this Blog. Despite my disappointment I think it turned out pretty funny but I'd rather hear your thoughts (male and female alike)! So grab a drink and tell me what you think. Feel free to share it with your friends too, Enjoy!

Being a single woman in L.A. is not all it’s cracked up to be. As this city is considered THE most popular city on the West Coast this can be a blessing and a curse, from the horrendous traffic to the influx of new people moving here to become #instafamous. As a result, the competition to get a Husband is Brutal. Here’s just a small taste of what I experience while living in Los Angeles.

The $hit I have to go through being Single in L.A.

10 Assumptions Men make About Single Women in L. A. - Finding Bae!

1. We are intimidating because we have our “$hit” together!
Yes I am highly educated and I am focused on my career. I don’t waste my time on lazy men because a man with goals and ambition is SEXY. But I also need you to be able to step up to the plate and ask a girl out. I don’t bite, unless you want me too (wink).

2. You assume that we are “bougie” because you watch Reality TV and think that we are all “Hollywood”.
 I’m an original L.A. girl and I love my city but trying to get a date out here is like “pulling teeth”. It doesn’t help that women outnumber men 10 to 1 (I’m just making those numbers up but that’s really what it feels like). Must we all fight over the same man?

3. Just because we have expectations you assume that our standards are “too high”.
No it means your standards are too low. Can’t a girl have SOME requirements?? I’m not saying he has to make 6 figures, be 6 feet tall and have 6 acres of land. But you can’t live with your mama, have 6 kids and make $6 an hour. I’m just saying!

4. You assume that something is “wrong” with us because we’re single
Why do I have to be “crazy” because I don’t have a man. Why can’t I just be waiting patiently for my “partner-in-crime”. Now I might drive by your house in the middle of the night if you don’t call me back but that’s only because I thought we had a “connection”, LMAO!

5. You assume that we are just too damn Independent
I concur. I really think that it’s just that we’ve been single for soooooooo long that we are so use to doing everything by ourselves that we have trouble giving up this role and relying on someone who may or may not want the responsibility. I mean think about it…a man comes into your life says all the right things and then the next thing you know he’s become very comfortable on your couch watching the NFL network, remote in one hand and balls in the other, then complains when you ask him to take out the trash. Which brings me to my next issue…

6. You assume we don’t cook.
This is simply not true. Times have changed. No I don’t cook 3 course meals like your mom did when you were growing up, after working a 12 hour day. But I can prep your meals on Sunday and you can have leftovers all week, Lol. Here’s an idea – Why don’t you cook and have a delicious meal ready when I come home (Ha! I think I’m asking too much)

7. You think you won’t be a priority in our lives.
Whaaaaat ??? I don’t know a woman who doesn’t want a MAN in her life.  We just want to make sure you are ready to make the commitment. I feel like the man waits until he's almost 40 years old before he finally decides okay I’ve played the field enough and I’m ready to settle down. Really??? My eggs have damn near dried up and my biological clock is hanging on for dear life. Then you wonder why we act like we don’t need you (refer back to #5).

8. You assume we have commitment issues…
But it's really "you" who has the commitment phobia. You want all the "wifey" perks but no investment. You want us to cook, clean, satisfy you BUT we just friends.

9. You are intimidated by us and assume we have a man.
This is actually more common than you think! I've noticed that men rarely approach me when I'm out with my girlfriends or even when I'm alone. I mean you can be low key stalking me and I wouldn't know it. I need a man to see me and NOT be intimidated but confident enough to make his move (put in the work)...OR I will chew you up and spit you out.

Which brings me to my last and Final point...

#10 What happened to "courting"? Do you even know what that is?? Did "chivalry" commit suicide??? Women like to be pursued, show your interest in her (introduce yourself, don’t send a friend to do it), pick up the phone and call her (yes I mean have an actual phone conversation), ask her out on a date (going to the movies is not a first date), meet her at the restaurant (no you can't come to my place I don't know you like that), pay for a meal, meet for happy hour or go have coffee (chivalry is not dead).

Now don't get me wrong I'm not into male bashing or breaking Guy Code because I love MEN. This is just a guideline for those guys who are guilty of either ONE or ALL of the above.

P.S. As a woman I am not completely oblivious to the fact that “us women” have our own issues too! BUT this isn't about us so come up with your own damn list about women who are “single & crazy” (Smile)

Until Next time...The Adventures of SingleNFabulous Must Go On!

Smooches

FINALLY, I'm going on a Date....Or So I Thought ??

Hi Beautiful People,

I have truly missed you guys!

Let me be honest...like you know me to be anything BUT, Lol.

I really wish I had Singlenfab Adventures every weekend that consisted of fun and elaborate stories to tell you but LIFE just does not happen that way. I'm sure you already know this. One weekend I might be in the streets "turnt up" and then the next weekend I'm just chillin' with the Fam Bam. It's during these normal times in my life that I'm hoping to meet someone "organically". Translation...by complete accident!

So when something does go down I get really excited because My Blog is my outlet and I love sharing and hearing your opinions on my Single Life Shenanigans (SLS, lol)!

So 2 weekends ago my sister invited me to be her plus 1 at the birthday party of three Beautiful Ladies she knew: Yvette, Nikki & Kya. The gentleman in the picture is Anthony from New Orleans and his first time in Cali. He was a total sweetheart and had that southern hospitality. So a selfie was mandatory when you meet good people!

As my sister and I were mixing and mingling we grabbed a drink from the open bar and posted up at a table. This "other" random guy introduced himself and swore up and down he knew both of us from back in the day. We went through all the formalities trying to figure it out: what high school did you go to, what year did you graduate, do you know so and so, etc. Through this conversation I thought he had a cool personality and was funny. In summary he is a grown ass man (my age) with a good job (lol). When we were ready to leave the party I had a quick thought that it would be a good idea to keep in touch with him because he's one of those guys that's cool to hang out with so I told him to "take my number down". There might have been a little flirting before I left that motivated me to give him my number.

Sidebar - Aren't you proud of me I actually took the initiative.

#1 - he had good conversation and a cool personality and this is what got him the number.

#2 - he told me he was going to call me that night (not text me). I had to shut that down real quick I told him it was already 1 am so I asked him to call me tomorrow. He said he'd text me to see when was a good time we would have a conversation. I agreed.

The next day he text me. I told him I would call him as soon as I got to the house. I called back within 30 minutes. We stayed on the phone for at least 1.5 hours. During this time I found out he has been married twice and has a total of 4 kids and he recently just got out of a relationship he was in for 4 years.

WTH ??? My first thought was - Really Lord, this is what you send me?!

He just went from my #1 Draft pick, straight to the Bench!

Now I've been accused of having "high" standards but damn am I suppose to be okay with all this information I just found out. Are these my #relationshipgoals ?? I haven't even asked any detailed personal questions because we just met but I'm not sure if I really want to know!

But I've also been told that I have a tendency to shut 'em down real quick. So shoot me for knowing what I want! I said okay let me give him a shot I'm open to going on a date. As we spoke on the phone he asked me when we could go out and I said next weekend. He seemed to be cool with that answer. We texted throughout the week and then I didn't speak with him for a couple of days. I think around Thursday I texted him to ask if he wanted to meet me at The Game Sports Bar and Grill in Inglewood to watch the 49er vs Giants game since I knew he was a football fan and I wanted to watch my Fantasy Football Team rack up some points. He was okay with it but said he had to go to work at 7 pm. So with the game starting at 5 pm that only gave us about 1.5 hours to converse in person and I was okay with that. Sunday afternoon comes and I'm running late leaving my 3 pm appointment. I knew I needed to get to the GS early to get a seat so I text him to let him know I was on my way.

He text back - Hey lady, I'm not going to be able to make it, I had a rough night at work and have to be back their tonight, I will catch up with you another time.

We sent a few more texts back and forth and the conversation ended and I no longer had a DATE!

Now don't get me wrong I completely understand when someone has a rough night at work. I've worked the "night shift" before so I know what it's like to need to sleep in or recuperate from the night before.

BUT...what I'm trying to figure out is when were you going to tell me you needed to cancel our date???? There was no courtesy call or text prior to me reaching out first. What if I would have just showed up at the GS without talking to him? Would I have just been sitting there waiting on a man who was not coming? Would he have waited to the last minute to tell me? or Not at all? I don't know.

But what I do know is that I'm not making any effort to reach out to him again. I was proud of myself for giving him the number and initiating plans to meet up...only to be let down. I'm not jumping to conclusions and cutting him off (yet) and I will give him a chance to redeem himself but if he wants to see me it's on him now.

As you can see the Frustration is Real

and so the Adventures of SingleNFabulous MUST go on...

Smooches!

Labor Day Weekend Fun in the Sun!

Hey Beautiful People,

Finally the 3 Day Weekend is here! My sister and I have been looking forward to going on this getaway to Las Vegas during the Labor Day Weekend for months as it was waaaaay overdue. I purposefully didn't travel anywhere or engage in too many extracurricular activities because I knew I wanted to turn up during the Holiday Weekend. But of course everything didn't go as planned which, for me, is never a good thing...

The original plan was for my brothers Bruce & Davion to go but someone's "evil" work schedule got in the way, booooo!
Then my younger sister Vanessa and her husband Q were suppose to go but unforseen circumstances happened that prevented them from going, boooo! Really???
I was so hurt that none of my peeps were going because I planned this End of the Summer trip for ALL of US!!

Then the icing on the cake, we didn't have a dog sitter!!! Arrrrgh. I really didn't want to leave my "child with four paws" in a pet hotel in L.A. while I partied it up in Las Vegas. So guess what...ROAD TRIP.... Princess Bailey was coming with us! Did I think this through, probably not, but at this point all my other pre-planning had went to shit, so we might as well wing it!

My sis and I rented a car to drive up to Las Vegas on Saturday morning because we were taking our Mom to the Patti LaBelle concert the night before. We had no idea that we weren't going to go to bed until 2am (last minute packing of course). So of course we didn't leave on time in the morning but we finally got on the road and made one stop in Barstow and another at State Line so Bailey could handle her business (Oh and us too)! The traffic wasn't too bad and we arrived in about 4 hours. I would have preferred to have gotten there sooner but that didn't happen, oh well.

Sidebar - We already had a one way ticket to fly back because we were not driving back Monday on the 15 freeway in that holiday traffic!

It's Saturday afternoon and the first order of business check into the SLS Hotel Las Vegas, turn in the rental car and go SHOPPING! Bailey had a great time and got lots of attention. People love her...that's what happens when you are the cutest dog on the planet, Lol. Bailey was also a good luck charm when we were playing on the Wheel of Fortune slot machines. Her Auntie Kee hit the jackpot twice and I hit it once. Driving in that heat took a lot out of all of us so once we 'got rich quick', lol, it was time to cash out and call it a night.

My HartBeat Girls from last year (Nikki, Angie, Abike, & cousin Kym) were in Vegas too, turnt up for the Drake concert but we didn't get a chance to meet up and hangout (sad face).

Saturday night was RUFF! Who knew Bailey was going to wake up in the middle of the night and bark at every person who walks through the hallway on our floor...midnight, 2am, 4am, etc! Oh my goodness, Keesha and I got No Sleep!  Guess who was on the phone Sunday morning calling the PetSmart Pets Hotel at 8:30am trying to get someone an overnight "doggie suite". The store supervisor Mason took good care of us and understood our Labor Day weekend dilemma. He accommodated our last minute reservation and made sure Miss Bailey got the royal treatment.

Keesha and I made it back to the SLS in time to secure our Daybed at the Foxtail pool. We had the best hostesses - Emily & Joey. I text "the birthday boy" and he came down to celebrate with us at the daybed. Good company, breakfast, lunch and drinks by the pool who could ask for anything more...

A curve ball... in walks in a bunch of broke men who aren't on our level and have no problem taking advantage of what we have to offer!

Unfortunately we were put into a situation that none of us saw coming. There were 4 guys who came to our daybed. Two of them "the birthday boy" knew, the other two he didn't know. The birthday boy asks if one of the guys can join us as he was celebrating his birthday too and he was going to "put in" on the day bed, but then says I don't know what the other guys are going to do. We said cool but then come to find out "put in" on the daybed really meant I'm going to get comfortable in your space and make a "donation" to the daybed, Really?? The others guys left briefly to go get their own food and drinks but then brought it back to our area so they could sit down. WTH? My boy should have known that if you invite one you are inviting them all. It started off cool having them there but then little things started happening. At one point one of the guys tried to get real comfortable on the day bed and he had to be told to relocate his ass to the edge of the bed where he belonged. Then another time one of the guys decided to bring two females to sit on our daybed. I checked him real quick and let him know: "I don't know where you got them from but you can take them right back where you found them". In my mind I'm thinking: You don't have a daybed WE do!! Be grateful you are even allowed to sit over here. See this is why people think Black women are mean and have an attitude. What people don't know is the position you put us in that made us go off in the first place! Well now you know. Then that same fool that brought the girls to our daybed decided to try and make himself a drink from someone else's bottle service. Are you frickin kidding me??? His dumb ass got caught and kicked out of the Foxtail and his boys didn't even move a muscle.

At this point my ass was drinking and having a good time. Flirting with the cute boys in the pool who said they loved my "classic" one piece DOPE bathing suit. After bouncing around in the pool to some great music I got a little tipsy. Unfortunately it was off of a drink I shouldn't have had. It was a pitcher of margarita that someone else ordered and I had no idea what the ingredients were. Whatever it was didn't mix with what I had already been sippin on. As a result, I passed out on the bed and missed Fetty Wap's performance. Of course my sis Kee had to get some incriminating photos of me and rub it in later. When I came too, lol, Lil Wayne was on the stage. I looked around and one of those guys had another female at our daybed. I looked at Keesha and she told me it was okay and she gave him a pass because it was the end of the day. But once again in my mind I'm thinking you didn't put in on this, what makes you think this is okay?  

My main issue is this, none of these guys (except the one) even tried to contribute to the daybed that they crashed...that's just RUDE! At the end of the night my sister made a very good point, "If they don't already have a daybed in our area they can't hang with us". NO NEW FRIENDS!

Later that night we chilled, I recuperated and we got a decent nights rest, Lol. But it still wasn't the same because Bailey wasn't with us. 

Monday morning we had car service pick us up, then we picked up Princess Bailey #spoiledpup and then off to the airport we went. It was Bailey's first time in the cabin of a plane and she did an excellent job.

Overall we had a good time! Our mini vacation was not long enough (it never is) but we're grateful we were able to go and it was a relaxing but Fun getaway.

After all of that you would think I would have at least met some potential candidates...but no such luck!

So the Adventures of SingleNFabulous Must Go On!

Smooches

P.S. I am on snapchat: @singlenfabla but forgive me for not utilizing it as often as I should,

 I'm still getting used to it! LOL

Dating...A Lost Art Form

Hey Beautiful People,

I know it's not just me and I know dating still happens but some of the $hit I have to go through is just ridiculous....hence the purpose of my Blog. To give you the inside details on what I go through as a single woman residing in L.A.

In the last 2 weeks I've had to tell 2 guys "I accept invitations to go on dates". But my question is...why do I have to tell you this! Why don't you just ask me out?

Typically my "guy friends" fall in two categories: we are either dating or really good friends (with no benefits) that I've known for a while. So if you are texting me randomly saying "hello" I will say "hello" back. I don't have long conversations via text so my response is going to be short and to the point. But then my next question is "are you texting me for a purpose or did I just cross your mind?"

Now let me be clear...I don't have a bunch of rules I go by but I do have some “old school” expectations. I'm open to almost anything but I need the person I'm "dating" to be on the same page. I know guys think differently than women and so I try not to make things too complicated. Tell me what you want and we can make it happen. However, what I don't like is if you think you’re coming over to my house to hang out??? That position is EARNED and is a privilege. I need to know you very well in order for me to let you into my personal space!

So singlenfab followers let me give you two different scenarios and you tell me what you think!

First an "old boo" starts sending me random text messages. Now I could have been rude and responded like "what do you want" but I didn't, so I entertained the back and forth correspondence. Honestly peeps there really was no substance to this mini conversation so I had no desire to keep the communication going. Then it just ended. What was the point?

I recently gave him the opportunity to come see me at a location that was closest to him and he asked me all the details, when and where, and then doesn't show up. What was the point of you asking?

Another time he hinted that he wanted to see me and so I told him "I go out on dates when asked". But low key I knew he was just trying to get me to hang out at his house. I don't want to hang out at your house (unless you offer to cook dinner)...we not cool like that anymore! I need to get to know the person you are now. Going on a couple of dates isn't going to kill you and they don't always have to involve spending money. I have yet to get a response out of him. Don't bother me unless there is a method to your madness. You need to have an objective or goal when it involves ME. I'm not one to waste my time because my time is valuable. Hey, lets face it I'm not getting any younger!

Then last night I'm having a conversation with my neighbor and he tells me "I'm full of shit" because I haven't given him the time of day (we have that kind of relationship). Of course my response is "Ask me out and you might get somewhere. Hanging out in your driveway ‘talking shit’ doesn’t count”. He’s cool and all but I really don't know him or what he wants out of life. The brief encounters we've had has led me to believe that he's a nice guy so I'd say yes to going out with him...but he'd actually have to ask me in order for that to happen! Hello?!

Sidebar - Now he may have gotten the wrong impression in the past that I wasn't that into him: In a text message he said, "you must not be feeling me" All I said was "you cool". His response, "Wow cool I'll take that I guess, lol." 
But once again I really don't know him well we just joke around and he flirts with me when I see him outside.

I don't know what's with men today...

Are you worried you are wasting your money on a date?

Do you not want to work for it?

Do you even know what the hell "courting" or "dating" is?

This is so frustrating. It is much easier for me to either relax at home in my nice comfy bed or just go out with the girls because it’s so much easier and NOT complicated.

As you can see Beautiful People nothing’s changed. I’m either dropping hints or telling them straight up what they need to do. I need a strong man that is confident in himself and comfortable in approaching a sista, having a conversation and asking her out. Is that too much to ask?? Or am I living too far in the past?? Or just meeting the wrong Men?!

So of course...

The Adventures of SingleNFabulous must go on…Smooches!

All White Day Party Fun!

Hi Beautiful People,

Life has been good and I've been making it a point to have a social life. Although there are plenty of days where I just want to be lazy, sometimes I have to force myself to put it together and go out. Take last weekend for example...my new hairstylist told me about this white party that was happening on Sunday at the Sheraton. I thought to myself I should go but I don't have anything in my closet that is white that I'm in love with! I'm still not happy about my weight and I'm not comfortable in my own skin.

Sidebar - Yes beautiful people I'm still struggling with this weight loss thing! I'm always trying new things so I will keep you posted.

So Sunday comes around and I'm minding my own business with no intention on going out and my boy Dana texts me a pic of this same All White Party!!! In my mind, I was like maybe this is the Hot Spot for the weekend, I guess I should go. Naturally I panicked, "Oh no I need an Outfit???"

So I had to call my "life line" and tell her my dilemma. My sister Vanessa saved my butt (once again) and picked out a top I could wear from her store www.thickchicboutique.com! Awwww shit, SOLD, that's all I needed. Once the outfit came together I got a boost of confidence! I broke out my Monika Chang braided stilettos and made it happen.

There were soooooo many people at this party. The lobby was crackin' and poolside was where the DJ was spinning on the 1s and 2s. My favorite live band DW3 was performing but you know my "fashionably late ass" missed the performance, SMH. I met my boy Dana up there and hung out with him and some really cool women. Thank goodness there were patio lounge chairs because I was not going to make it in those shoes. As I observed my surroundings I wasn't surprised that the women out numbered the men. Hence my other dilemma. I really didn't see any potential dating candidates except the occasional "Cat Daddy" that tried to Holla (lmao).  So I just drank my wine and grooved to the music. I had a good time regardless because I love day parties! I wish I could tell you something exciting happened but it didn't, LOL.

Fashion Police Violation - I just wish some of these older women knew a little something about how to keep it classy. There were way too many women exposing their breasts at this event. Has no one ever heard of a strapless bra or "pasties"?? I was low key offended. I know a bra might mess up your outfit but there are several different contraptions that man has created to help you camouflage your areola, I'm just saying!

Regardless I had a good time and I was happy to be out the house! Well you know how this works...since a sista didn't get any love at this party I have to keep the party going...elsewhere!

The Adventures of SingleNFabulous Must Go On!

P.S. If you want to see some of my shenanigans up close & personal 

Follow me on Snapchat @ singlenfabla

Smooches!!

Sangria Sunday's with the Girls

Hey Beautiful People,

I’m on my third Blog in 2 weeks !!! Aren’t you proud of me, LOL.  Recently I attended a Bloggers Like Me Lunch Lab Series at the Marmalade Café in El Segundo, CA, that discussed “Leveraging Your Blog into Serious Profit”.

The price of the event was reasonable, the small and intimate cafe was perfect, our lunch was delicious and the presenter Social Media expert Natalie Gouche was EXCELLENT! My attendance allowed me to meet other bloggers that were serious about taking their business to the next level. The lunch lab was from 11am to 2pm and every seat in the room was occupied. The information Natalie blessed us with was PRICELESS!

As I took notes I realized I need to step my game up! I definitely enjoy writing my Blog and sharing my experiences, it’s very different from my “chosen career” and it’s a release for me.  Although all the information Natalie reviewed with us did not necessarily apply to me (as of yet) it was good information I may be able to use in the future or share with others.

Sidebar - My blog really isn't about making money but an outlet for me to talk to “EVERYONE” who can relate to the struggle of being single. Now if you want to pay me to travel or host Singlenfabulous  Co-ed Mixers, or Heart2Heart discussions, WE CAN DEFINITELY talk (code for Negotiate, LOL)!!!

This event allowed me to meet some really successful and sweet ladies that were very encouraging and inspiring!

Yulunda at www.Yimwriteous.com , Josslyn at www.mochasandmiracles.com , Carol www.evolvingyourimage.com , and Lila @curvygirlsncurls , Make sure you check out their pages!

As a result of this event I have been Blogging my little Heart Out!!

Which leads me to talk about today's Adventure... Sangria Sunday’s at the Bonaventure Brewing Company

Now let me give you the deets on my most recent Adventures at Sangria Sunday’s! I first heard about it last summer when it was being held at the Sofitel in Beverly Hills. Well this summer it’s being held at the Westin Bonaventure Hotel in Downtown L.A.  Sangria Sunday’s is hosted by www.InTheMixLA.com and the entertainment consists of live music and a DJ.

 

My good friend Nikki  invited me to go and said she and a few friends were reserving a table. I’ve never been before and it was the perfect weekend to go (I had no plans)! I didn’t know we were still celebrating her birthday and so I had no idea we were going to be about 16 deep, LOL. The picture only shows a few of the successful women I hang out with (wink). A lot more came later and when I tell you these ladies know how to party…they make you want to be everywhere they are!

The champagne was flowing and the music was on point! I should not be in charge of pouring the drank!  Alcohol was everywhere, LOL.

As we got comfortable listening to a rotation of Live Music and the DJ the place gets packed real quick. This event was more popular than I thought, a Good Look with a mature crowd. As I observe the people in the crowd I see an “old flame” . Of course I didn’t expect to see him there but we are cool so I greeted him. He came to support one of his boys and I was there with my girls. The opportunity came later in the day where we had the chance to talk alone for a minute. Honestly, he’s a good guy but I just don’t think I’m the one for him. Yes we do have history and it’s not like we haven’t been down this road before. Unfortunately, at that time, he wasn’t ready to settle down and I was. Now we are both in a different place in our lives and are more mature. Although we are real cool friends, we always have great conversations and the chemistry is there… I feel like neither one of us are willing to invest the time into turning this friendship into more. We’ve made some attempts in the past but then life gets in the way. Maybe it’s not meant to be…??? Ladies & Gentlemen, your opinion and advice are Welcome! Feel free to sound off on what you think I should do ??




Overall I had a good time hanging out with the girls and I highly recommend Sangria Sunday’s for people who just want to get out, have a good time and relax. Did I meet anybody NEW no, but did I enjoy myself Yes and I think that’s all that matters. I know that I’m not always going to meet someone every time I go out so I make sure I have FUN when I do go out!

But what I'm not going to do is give my number to the Man flirting with every woman standing in line at the bathroom. He was a damn fool and had the nerve to follow me to our reserved section! My girl Nikki gave him "the stank eye" and had to let him know "keep your hands where I can see them!" Lmao! I LOVE HER!! Big Sister wasn't havin' it! I guess I’m going to have to keep my Options open (wink).

 

Stay Tuned...The Adventures of SingleNFabulous Must Go On...

 

Smooches!

 

My Standards are NOT too High!

Hi Beautiful People,

Surprise!!! I'm baaaaaack....So Soon....Already!!!! Yes.


My Sisters!! #throwback

 After attending my Bloggers Like Me Lunch Lab Series on Saturday I've regained my Motivation. I've made a personal commitment to devote more time and promotion to my Blog.  Goal #1 post a Blog entry every week! So my Blogs are going to involve more than just my Single Life Shenanigans but also Conversations that make us think about our lives, our standards and what we want from our "future partners". Please feel free to dialogue with me about any and every topic because I'm sure we can all relate in some way, shape or form!

Please forgive me for this long blog post BUT it's REALLY GOOD and from a MAN's Perspective!!!

Thank you to my Facebook Friend Eena who shared this Post on Facebook it was a really good read and helped solidify that I AM NOT CRAZY!!! This is Exactly What I'm Looking For in a Man!

 

APOLOGIES TO ALL MY EX’S!

by Michael Jai White (Actor)

In all my years as a grown man I knew, without a doubt, that women were different than men and required a gang of emotional attention. I came to the resolution that part of a man’s role was to endure women’s emotional neediness by patronizing them much as you would a child: “Yes, Dear, I’m listening”…even though this is some rhetorical BS. ” Of course I miss you… even though I just saw yo ass a little while ago! “I see you’re calling me”… even though I just F*^‪#‎ing talked to you 20 minutes ago! As a man, you have to deal with hand holding, “yes dear,” and freaking cuddling! I endured this for years until my relationships reached their natural demise due to some natural chemistry flaw between us or the woman’s natural chemical imbalance- Yes I said it! I believed ALL WOMEN WERE CRAZY and the only choice a man had was to decide exactly how much crazy he’s willing to deal with to sustain a relationship. It’s crazy to think I, as a man, would ever want to spend every waking moment with a woman, to be all-up-on each other constantly, to talk endlessly about “every-damned-thing” and see each other “every-damned-day!” I was always the spoiled Alpha Male who didn’t have to try as hard and I dealt out advise to my brethren due to my abundant experience with women. I had Alpha Females, “Dime Pieces” with degrees and plenty of them! I pretty much got every woman I wanted, rich or famous and who could argue with my numbers? On every level, I was “The Man!” Agreed? Well take my numbers, “Dime Pieces,” and vast experience and apply it to what I’m about to say- I WAS WRONG ABOUT WOMEN ALL THESE YEARS! My Ex’s were right!

 

The interesting thing about every good argument is the shifting percentages of validity on each opposing side, but only one concept will tip the argument past the 51% and expose the unflinching reality of the truth. My new life philosophy is to look forward to being wrong because each time I’m wrong, I learn something that unlocks the door to a concept I struggled to understand. The truth is then revealed and to live in the truth is to live in enlightenment.

 

I am now in a relationship that I never knew was even possible. I’m in love with my best friend who I shower with endless affection, talk to all times of the day and miss the moment I leave her side. I now understand what the women of my past desired from me. They INSTINCTIVELY KNEW that love actually looked this way! Everything from the hand holding to countless daily declarations of love were not only a byproduct of the man’s emotions but it was something easily volunteered by the man who’d truly loved them. I simply didn’t love my Ex’s in the capacity their spirits knew organically needed to be loved. I believe woman nowadays have learned to settle for what’s FAMILIAR to love. In turn, they’ve had to decide how much of a man’s love they can live without to sustain a relationship. As we men are natural leaders in providing security, it is women who are the natural leaders in how to love. They are instinctively born with the barometer to feel when love is real. The behaviors they’ve required from men IS the behavior that is true for love. The crazy lesson for men is that YOU’LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH OF A MAN YOU CAN BE UNTIL YOU TRULY LOVE SOMEONE BEYOND YOURSELF. I can say that I am now the very best version of myself and that’s due entirely to my relationship. My perspective is clear, my goals are defined, distractions are nonexistent, my business and personal relationships are stronger than ever. I don’t feel like “The Man,” anymore. I feel like A MAN.

P.S. This post definitely gives me FAITH because although this is Michael Jai White's second marriage he finally found "The One" woman that completes him....and he's only a few years older than me! LOL

People always ask me if my standards are too high? My answer will always be NO. I strongly believe that MEN should set their standards higher!

 

Therefore the Adventures of SingleNFabulous Must Go On!!!

 

Smooches

**I apologize beautiful people but I had to remove the picture of Michael Jai White and his wife to avoid copyright infringement**

To Be or Not to Be Single! My Dilemma

Hey Beautiful People,

So I’ve done nothing special in my social life short of hanging out with my family, going to the Nicki Minaj concert at the BET Experience, Girls Night Out at Dave & Buster’s and going to see Magic Mike XXL. I highly recommend Magic Mike it’s a great Movie, LOL.

Oh and I cut my hair! 

I registered on Match.com but I haven’t broken down to pay the monthly fee that allows me to converse with those who’ve liked my pics, sent a message or have shown any type of interest. Online dating feels forced to me and I don’t feel I should have to pay for it (smh, that’s me being stubborn). But at some point I might succumb to the pressure!

Am I lazy? Possibly.

Am I old fashion and just wish I could meet someone
 “in person” organically? Definitely.

Do I feel there are other things in life more important than dating? Yes, lol.

But ultimately would I like a companion who gets me, loves to hang out with me (& my doggie), travel with me, be adventurous or just relax in front of the TV? Most definitely!

Do I live in my own little “fantasy world” where the relationship I’d like to have is much easier than what they really are? High Probability!

My ultimate goal is “marriage”, but lately when talking to other people about marriage I get mixed reviews. You know how people say you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, until you are deep in it. Well it sounds like you can’t predict what you are signing up for. We as children growing up observe our parent’s, loved ones or close family friends and their relationships and their experiences vary. From what appears to be loving and caring to down right I just don’t like you anymore! Hey life changes and people change.

But what they don’t tell you is everything you are getting when you make this type of commitment. It is only now as an adult that I am able to observe friends and families marriages (on the outside looking in) and understand what type of commitment, understanding and difficulties they have to endure as a couple. Then when children are involved it makes things even more complicated.

We, as women, are raised to believe we should marry, have children, and take care of the home, etc. Is this old fashion YES but apparently it worked for generations before us.  In today’s society some women have the desire to have a nuclear family and some don’t (to each her own)! Me personally I’d like to have children but that ship may have already sailed. It’s hard enough just to find a compatible partner let alone having kids in this day and age...We must think twice about bringing a child into this world. Our reasoning can not be "selfish", we must think of what our child is going to be subjected to and if we are ready to deal with the challenges that come with it.

There have been several times in my life where I’ve questioned why ‘God’ (for those of you who believe in him or her, lol) hasn’t introduced me to “The One”.  I believe it’s natural to wonder why and I know I should be patient but I’m 40 and I’m not getting any younger. I’m assuming that it’s not my time right now! But then I had a thought….What if I’m just meant to be SINGLE??!!

So I took a minute to reflect on the “benefits” of being Single. I live alone (well technically with my sister),  I come and go as I please, I travel when I want, I don’t have to check-in with anyone, I have the freedom to converse when any guy I want with no obligations, I spend my money on what I want and my life is drama free. So I guess I can’t complain. But even after listing all these things, the one thing I do miss is “companionship”. I love my dog to death but she just can’t fulfill that part of my life.

So I continue to go out and enjoy life and hope that I accidentally run into someone that is made “just for me “.  

If it happens, it happens.

So until then…
the Adventures of Singlenfabulous must go on... Stay Tuned!

Smooches

He's Just Not that Into You

Hi Beautiful People,

My search for love has been on hold as usual. I don't necessarily make it a priority because I haven't had the best of luck in Los Angeles, or ANYWHERE else for that matter. I have a track record of making that initial "connection" with a guy but in the end I always end up "the home girl" but not "the Wife". Is it frustrating...YES! Do I necessarily have control over it...NO!

Or do I?

Why all this contemplation you ask, because I finally got the opportunity to visit the "guy friend" I told you about that I met at the Essence Festival a few years ago. He's the cool white guy in the Air Force who was traveling to different countries (Germany) and well he finally landed in the states. Since neither one of us are going to the Essence Festival this year we agreed I'd come and visit him as soon as my schedule permitted.
Read Backstory Here

So I knew I was traveling to Chicago In May (work trip that ended on a Friday) so I asked him if he'd be okay with me coming to visit the weekend (since he was only a couple of hours away).
He agreed. I was excited about seeing him again and happy that he took the initiative to make plans for us to go to the Dine-In theater to see Avengers: Age of Ultron.  Then 2 days before I'm suppose to go see him I get this email:

Him:
Subject: Heads up
We are going out Saturday night with a couple of chicks I personal train so I told them you are my cousin coming in from California (wink) just role with that so they don't get jealous and my business doesn't get fucked up, lol.

Me:
OMG! Really SMDH

There was more conversation but it wasn't worth me writing. From what I was reading he really thought this plan was OKAY. What was he thinking?????

Is anyone else OFFENDED or is it just me being extra Sensitive???

Initially, my first thought was NOT to go! But I paid for my plane ticket and I didn't want it to go to waste. Lets be clear...I bought my own plane ticket because I didn't want to be obligated to anyone and I wanted the freedom to make my own decisions versus someone having something to hold over my head.

Sidebar - Of course my girl Nikki tells me later that because my flight was on Southwest I could have postponed the flight, rescheduled it for a later date, and changed my destination with "no fees" involved (sad face).

But honestly part of me wanted to "check this fool" and the other part of me wanted to find out what the hell was he thinking??


So I went!

No doubt I went into that weekend "disappointed" because at this point I knew where I stood with him. Don't get me wrong I had no major expectations but I didn't expect to be thrown that curve ball either.

I got there Saturday morning and he picked me up from the airport and took me to breakfast. Of course we talked about that RIDICULOUS plan he put together and I told him "females ask questions...lots of them" and I told him I'm not answering any of them. It would all be on him to explain "how I'm suppose to be his cousin". I'm black, he's white, Really??? He didn't hesitate to cancel the plans. I also explained to him that I didn't have any expectations to do anything "special" that weekend because I'd been in Chicago all week for work and I was really looking forward to just relaxing. So we hung out at his big beautiful house, ate fast food all weekend (because he doesn't cook, lol) and watched movies together.

Sidebar - I would have asked him to take me to the grocery store so we could get food for me to cook but I wasn't motivated to do it because that email played over and over again in the back of mind.

Call me "old school" but I'm not putting any extra effort into something that doesn't sit right with me and in the end I'm going to be the one who gets hurt. I'm a realist. My thought process was if you invite me to hangout with you for the weekend, it's all about me and in return you will get 100% of Resheda I'm pulling out all the stops, even if it's just for the weekend but it's MY WEEKEND.

I knew that once my weekend with him was over it was back to REALITY and the other disappointing men I'm already familiar with.

I struggled to write this Blog entry because I was trying to figure out why this situation played itself out the way it did...but honestly I don't know why and I've come to accept the fact that it is what it is!

My Weekend in Review:

*Does he have a girlfriend...Not that I know of
*Can he possibly be sleeping with the women he's supposed to be "working out with"...Absolutely
*Did I expect anything less...Of course not!
*Did I want to hang out with "females" that are complete strangers to me HELL NO! (see asterisk #2)
*Did he Fuck Up my "fantasy" of who I thought he was...Yes he did.
*Do I regret going No
*Did I learn something from it...Definitely!
*Am I bitter against ALL Men...No!

Overall, did I have a good time YES. It was a relaxing vacation away from home and he was good company. Will I see him again probably Not.

Will I continue to be SingleNFabulous OH YEAAAAAH!!!!!

Now that I have a little bit more time to "play" in the summer my next attempt is to try Online Dating, pray for me...LOL!!!

The Adventures of SingleNFabulous Must Go On!!!

Smooches

Our Vintage Glam 40th Birthday Celebration

Hi Beautiful People,

The Best Day of the Year has come and gone and I'm so excited to share it with you.

Remember when I spoke to you in my last Blog "It's My Birthday in 12 Days and I'm on a Mission" and I told you I was extremely stressed out from trying to find a venue to host my birthday party???

Well of course that decision didn't go as planned. My twin sister Keesha was not completely convinced that the Suede Bar and Lounge in The Westin Bonaventure was THE birthday venue for us because it happened to come with a $300 bottle service tab. So she decided she "would take one for the team" and do more research.

Sidebar - We've paid for bottle service at past birthday celebrations and we really haven't been impressed with buying a bottle of liquor with inflated prices when we know we can go get the same bottle out of Costco for way cheaper!!

By this time we only have one week left to pick a venue. It was Friday night and so my sis dragged herself to "Perch" the "Mixing Room" and the J.W. Marriott hotel "Lobby Bar" at downtown L.A. Live, but no such luck! Perch was too small and in her words it wasn't "poppin" enough for the crowd of people we were bringing. The Mixing Room's music wasn't up to par and the Lobby Bar looked like it's purpose was to attract the business casual type. Here we go again...at this point we feel we have no other options and our last resort was Suede Bar & Lounge $$.

Then late that night, I came across an instagram picture of Tisha Campbell performing Live on Friday nights at the Xen Lounge in Studio City. It was perfect! I showed it to Keesha and she said she liked the idea of going to listen to live music instead of getting "turnt up" with a DJ (because we always do that). Since we already had plans to go to the Topanga Canyon Mall on Saturday to look for "birthday shoes" (the birthday outfit was already complete) we agreed to check out Xen Lounge on the way back!

You know me!!! I did my research and got the detailed information I needed off their website.

Live Music details - check,
       Reservations - check,
             Dress Code - check,
Update Facebook Invitation for our Guests - check

Now...Keesha and I knew we wanted to go to dinner for our birthday but didn't know where we should go. So we turned to our younger sister Vanessa (and her husband Q) because they know all the "hot spots" as we consider them the "connoisseurs of good food." Nessa recommended dinner at SUR Restaurant in West Hollywood. I looked up their website and loved everything about it!

I booked our reservation through opentable.com immediately. Keesha made plans to meet some of her closest friends in the Lounge area after dinner. All of my closest friends would meet at Xen Lounge!

The BIG DAY is HERE -

Friday, March 20th -

Keesha and I are finally the BIG 40!!!!

My job gave me the day off from work for my Birthday and so I started it with getting my hair done by the beautiful @majormusthavs! Unfortunately Keesha had to deal with some drama trying to get her hair done a few days before our birthday, but her new hair stylist Thai saved the day!

I picked up the cake from Torrance Bakery and when I get home our MOM is there to wish us a Happy Birthday. Keesha's busy putting the finishing touches on Vanessa's make-up.  Forty-five minutes later it's my turn, then she completes her own make-up...We were Beat for the GAWDSSSS!!

Our escorts for the evening were our two favorite people "Bruce & Davion". We love these two men to infinity and beyond. They are two of the most loving, passionate, honest and supportive men we know...and love to party with!

4:30pm came and we were ready to GO!! Keesha and I slipped into our "custom made" vintage brocade birthday dresses by Belen @moiselleamoureux. Belen is a Vintage inspired Fashion Designer based in Los Angeles. Due to last minute planning on our part, she took our measurements, picked out the material, made our dresses and delivered them in less than 3 weeks. The results were...FLAWLESS! So of course we took lots of pictures before we left the house (you know this made us late for dinner right...black folks can't never be on time, Lol). Our reservation was for 5:30pm and we knew we'd be stuck in traffic trying to get there...it's L.A.!! Thank goodness the restaurant was cool with us being a little late (it was still early). Dinner was delicious and the drinks were tasty!

 ....We kept the liquor flowing and passed out our XOXO cake pops (El Segundo), while mingling in the Lounge area!!

Keesha had a mini-Clean House reunion with ALL her peeps who haven't been together in one room since they last worked together in 2011! We love them all because they are very much like a second family to us. Once 8:30pm rolled around we had to make moves and keep the party going to our next destination!

Shout out to our contact person JB at Xen Lounge who realized quickly, when he started getting phone calls for reservations, that I had a lot of people coming to celebrate my birthday so he gave Keesha & I the VIP Room and outdoor patio access, so we could keep some of our party guests together. Can you say "Let me #upgrade you!!" 

Lucas was the host for the night and he was real handsome, fun and flirty and attentive in making sure we were well taken care of!

Also, big shout out to @KSDGPhotography for taking photos of our birthday celebration. The pictures turned out GREAT!!

Although All of Our Friends weren't able to attend, we were happy with the friends that were able to come out and celebrate with us!!

Special Thanks to our longtime college friend Erica and her husband Michael for coming to celebrate out special day!! Although we don't get the chance to speak all the time... we always pick up where we left off! Here's to 22 years of friendship.

Although we didn't get to see Tisha Campbell perform (due to health issues) we were thoroughly entertained by the performers who showed up for "Open Mic Night"...you know anything goes when you give someone the microphone!

My boy Dana couldn't stop "clownin" and he had us dying at the table! In that moment I realized I've been friends with him for at least 18 years...down since Day One.

Comedian Cedric The Entertainer just happened to come through that night to relax and enjoy the ambiance and hang out with Duane Martin (co-owner of Xen Lounge).

And of course my beautiful co-workers from the Boys & Girls Club came out to celebrate with me!!

This day was PERFECT!! I was so happy that nothing went wrong!!

We drank, we ate, I danced (smile), we cut the cake!

It was the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!

But you know we couldn't stop celebrating on Friday night...We had to keep the party going into the weekend...LAS VEGAS here we come!!!!

Saturday morning we were up at 7am (and not by choice) I think we all know that I am NOT a morning person! With my sister Vanessa riding shot gun and my brother-in-law Q behind the wheel (we had sure Q didn't make any new friends with Highway Patrol (smile), Fortunately we arrived in Vegas safe and sound. The plan was to go shopping but we were so tired it just didn't happen. First stop was Margaritaville we were starving!

Keesha and I had plans to go see Michael Jackson's ONE by Cirque de Soleil Saturday night so we didn't have a whole lot of free time. We checked into the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, changed clothes and went to the show. It was GREAT!! Speakers in our seats, aerial tricks, a pole dancer, trampoline acrobats, etc...all to the beat of Michael Jackson's greatest hits! It was a really cool show.

Sunday "Daybed @ Rehab"

After sleeping in a little because I refused to get up that early, breakfast was by the pool. We thought we were going to be on the Daybed deck but we ended up right by the pool in front of the DJ booth. Can you say "Let me #upgrade you". To get the day started we had a brotha spinning on the 1s and 2s and he had me up and out of my seat groovin to the beat. Then a female, DJ Kitty, got on the stage and she had skillz too. Pool side massages and a little R&B and Hip Hop to keep the party going. The daybed was Keesha's idea and we were so happy she made the reservation.  Food and Drinks were included and the weather was perfect, but that pool temperature was freezing! It really didn't matter because we got in it anyway and we had a Blast!! 7 hours later we retired from the pool as the crowd  changed and became "ratchet" real quick and we knew then it was time to go!

 

A few hours later it was time for a late night dinner at the Grand Lux. We had to make an appearance here since we no longer have one in the Beverly Center. We didn't go out partying that night because the sun wore us out! We also knew that we wanted to go shopping early in the morning, before we headed back to L.A., so we called it a night.

Monday morning breakfast at our #1 spot - Hash House A Go Go...then on to the Outlet and the Mall. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to do a whole lot of shopping for clothes because I didn't find anything I really liked but...My birthday present to myself were a new pair of UGGs with Free Swarovski Crystal Customization! #crown #40

Finally we got on the road and made it home to L.A. safe and sound. We had a great relaxing and fun weekend in Las Vegas. Was I ready to go back to work??...uh no...but it was back to the real world!

Sorry for the delay in writing this blog Fab Followers, but as you can see it was really long and as soon as I went back to work I became really busy. Unfortunately, it took me getting sick and being forced to stay at home this weekend that allowed me to sit down and finally put the finishing touches on this blog.

Although I didn't make any love connections during this Birthday Weekend Adventure I'm still hopeful that there's someone out there for me! This is just a great excuse for me to keep going out to meet new people...

So of course, The Adventures of SingleNFabulous must go on!!  Stay Tuned...Smooches!!